First day of the Fall Semester

Well my very brief Summer break is over and now the first day of the Fall semester has started and I'm already at that "overwhelmed" state. I can't decide if it's because I am bored of classes or if it's because I just want to procrastinate. Let's be honest I have nothing better to do than my homework and I could knock out my assignments for the week in just a few hours, but I am being lazy for some crazy reason. Maybe I'm just lacking the right motivation at the time, who knows, but I really do want to succeed and I know that in order to do that I have to put forth the effort I'm just being a bit of a slacker and I need to get my stuff together. I know that I will this is just my small rant for now. I guess I better get to my homework so that I can find some motivation.

Reflections

 I really liked using this blog as part of my Composition I class. I really feel that this blog is a great way for my to consolidate my thoughts and feelings in one place from anywhere. I really like that I can take my writing out of a tangible journal and put it here in my blog so that I can read it or add to it from anywhere at anytime. It really makes sharing what's on my mind a whole lot easier. The assignment overall was not at all difficult I found it very simple and I thought overall it was a great success. Unfotunately the hardest part of the assignment was remembering to write in my blog everyday. I was unable to creat a blog post everyday due to my travels throughout Afghanistan for work and also just simply not remembering to post something. Needless to say I think that forgetting and not being able to post everyday was and is my biggest failure with the assignment. I definitely will continue to use this blog even though this semester is finished and I think that in time I will be able to consistantly post in the blog everyday or at least every other day.

Research can be fun!

So I spent a few hours reserching Doling Park in Springfield, MO because it's the place I chose to write about for my COMP 101 essay and I learned so much! I pulled up pictures and read everything I could find about it. I remember it as a semi run down park it seemed no one cared about, but in my research I discovered it used to be the IT place in Springfield, an ammusement park! From the pictures it was beautiful. It had a lake you could swim in, a roller skating rink, boat rentals, and even a roller coaster! I had no idea this place had such a historical significance to the town I grew up it! It's crazy to believe that all that time I spent there as a child I had no idea of it's history until recently. For that reason alone I am so glad my instructor assigned this assignment and that I chose this place of personal significance to me. This is where I got married and it is just astounding to learn that it was such a thriving place! Can you believe the admission price was only $.10! Just getting into Silver Dollar City is about $60 a person now! Wow I'm so glad I learned this!

What is a Place?

So I need to create a list of places that mean something to me but this appears to be slightly difficult as it needs to be a place that's not completely private. My family does not participate in family reunions so that's isn't really a good place considering one doesn't exist. My childhood home in Springfield could be a a qualifying place as many traumatic events took place there. I have a lot of memories at the high school I graduated from, but I really don't want to use that as my location.There really isn't a place of historical or cultural importance to me that I would like to write about. I could write about where I first met my wife, or where we had our first kiss, or our first date but I think the place that is most memorable is the place we were married. Just thinking back on that day makes me happy. Where is that exactly? Well it's the first place I sang to my wife, the DOling Park in Springfield, in front of the cave. I spent a lot of my childhood in that cave and climbing the cave and I married my best friend there and so that makes it the perfect place!

Digging In!

With only a couple weeks left of class this semester I find myself feeling a little overwhelmed with assignments. I know it isn't much longer until I am finished, only another week, but it's rough trying to get all this stuff for class finished and turned in and then trying to get everything ready to go home and still get my work done. It's a lot but today is dedicated to sitting down and getting everything done! I'm going to just "dig in" and get this stuff done, well as much of it I can today. I really think I can get most if not all of these assignments finished today or tomorrow and I will be caught up with class at least. I just really hope that I have a good grade at the end of the semester. I don't want to have to repeat this class again as it will set everything back and that's not at all a good thing. SO I'm going to get to it today and make things happen!

The Norm

It's been really nice here lately, warm, but nice! I can take the heat here becuase being here is a lot like being home in Missouri as the weather here is seasonal like home. During the summer it gets up over 100 degrees and during the winter it snows a lot and gets really cold. I wouldn't trade being here for anywhere else in Afghanistan just because I have been here so long and I know what to expect here. I know this is kind of odd since i just posted a few days ago about people not being willing to accept change but if I'm honest, I'm the same way. Excepting change is so difficult especially here where you never really know what to expect so finding even the tiniest of routines is good enough for me. I love it. I need that little bit of peace. It's not a lot but it is enough for me to hold on to and I think being here for as long as I have been it's necessary for sanity purposes to find a small routine. Just because I have a small daily routine does not in anyway mean that I am not willing to adapt to change, I do it a lot, but it just gives me something constant for personal and mental security. I love what I'm doing and it is very important I feel like I'm doing a great service and I feel like I'm on the right path and I'm there at a young age. What more could anyone ask?

Getting that lazy feeling...

As the days creep by and I get closer and closer to to me going home on leave for two weeks I am just getting lazier and lazier by the day. It's hard to say that it's laziness but I'm definitely not wanting to do anything except hurry up and go home! I cannot wait until I'm on that plane out of here and on my way home! I am in desperate need of a vacation and it's really starting to show. At work I'm being more strict and by the book and in my classwork I'm procrastinating a lot. The good news is that unlike last semester where I still had class while home on leave, this time I will actually have a break and won't have class and neither will Kyla. It will be so nice to get to spend time together without our school work getting in the way and being a distraction. Even as I write this I'm ready to be done and off work. I'm not going to go anywhere special or do anything, just sit around or sleep. Why in the world would I look forward to that? Either way I hope this phase passes soon.

Sunday at last!

You guessed it! It is finally Sunday. Why am I so excited about Sundays in Afghanistan? Well it's simple because Sunday is the only day of the week I work a half day and I have nothing to do while at work on Sunday so it's more like a full day with 6 hours of it at work doing whatever needs to be done. This morning, like every Sunday, I did not want to get out of bed and go to work, but I eventually worked up the energy to get out of bed and get my half day over with. After work today I'll be playing Magic: The Gathering, which I always thought was a super nerdy game until I tried it the other night with some people at work, people you NEVER would have guessed played this game, and it was a blast! I lost my very first couple of times playing but won a few last night. Today I'm going for the win again and maybe the cards I ordered on Amazon will arrive. As of right now I have been using a coworker's "shinanigans" deck, as we say a lot out here, that he let me borrow until mine arrive. I have to get my homework finished up for the week and start my day so until next time. ;-)

Procrastinor Mode

There is so much to do to get ready for my leave here in a few weeks and I have no idea why I am procrastinating so much. I really should be more on top of things and trying to get everything ready to go but the last week or so I'm just been procrastinatinng as if some little ready elf is going to come and do everything for me. At first it was from being behind with work that threw me off, but once I finally caught up I was in procrastinator mode and I just haven't found my way out of it yet. I think today will have to be the day I actually start cracking down and getting things done! I just have to get it all done and waiting is getting me no where. So I think today I'm going to get to it and get all my work finished.

Change...Why is it so hard to accept?

Not many people are very willing to accept change. I really thought change would make a lot of things easier and less stressful. So many are worried about everything being more difficult. It’s as if one or two tiny changes will totally consume time and space. It’s almost as if the easier things get the harder it is to accept. There really is no catch. Everything is just as simple as it sounds. I try to simplify not complicate then again who knows what everyone else is really thinking. Maybe, everyone is in agreement mentally, but one person speaks out against something and all are against it. It’s hard to accept when you are right and know that you are doing and teaching the right thing yet the outcast in the mind throws everything off. I can only do so much and help so much. I can only show everyone the right way and hope they do what they are supposed to. After all in the end it’s their own individual actions that will affect their consequences. I am only one person, obviously a very insignificant person, but one single person in myself. There are so many things that could be made better, but things will not change. Needless to say I know that I will only have positive consequences for my actions. I cannot speak for anyone else, nor do I want to. I have tried and done my part and there really can only be so much done.

Backlogged!!

After traveling these last few days to another FOB for a meeting for work I am so super backlogged. Who knew I could be so behind after only three days away! I’m trying to catch up all on my emails, get them all answered and process requests and take care of everything I missed. I feel like I may never catch up! I don’t have too much left to do in order to catch up as of right now, but all morning I have been struggling to get caught up on everything. I really didn’t think I would be this backlogged. It’s like when I’m in the office I have no one who needs or wants anything, but I leave for a few days and the world falls apart! I am glad to be back at work though. I really missed all the people I work with and our odd conversations and crazy issues! Then again the FOB I went to was amazing, everything was within walking distance, the food was amazing, and it wasn’t nearly as crowded. It was really nice. I really wanted to stay, but the trip was over and it was time to come back and catch up on all the work I missed while I was gone. Hopefully today is a good day to catch up!

Siblings

I have three younger siblings, all girls. I swear that the world must hate me some days when I have to deal with the tears and the drama of so many girls. Especially the two youngest who are both teenagers in high school. I may complain but I do miss my sisters. One is in college, one lives in North Carolina, and the other lives with me and my wife. Alyssa is 15 and though we are alike we are also insanely different. She is the girly girl with emotions that run wild and her biggest downfall is her heart. She lives by her emotions and her "go to" thing when she is upset, mad, hurt, scared or anything is tears. She is very much like my wife in that aspect and I have no idea what to do when she breaks down other than walk away or turn up my video games. I am different in the fact that I am very logical and let my mind rule my decisions versus my emotions. However, Alyssa and I are very alike in the fact that we reflect our emotions off of each other. When I am upset with her for being, well the only way to explain it is a teenager, I tell her. We had very different childhoods so I may be stricter on her than she wants. She cries and yells, well then I yell. It turns into a screaming match sometimes with my wife left to referee the match to be sure no one kills the other. Through all of the ups and downs and figuring out how to handle the emotional rollercoaster known as a female teenager, I have found that I love her more like my child than my sister. She has shown me that I can be a better parent than I ever thought I would. She has shown me that my heart is big enough to give my unconditional, always supportive love to someone other than my wife. Although I love all my siblings and would move the world for them, I feel like they are able to handle the world on their own without as much assistance, but when I think of Alyssa all I see is a five year old who needs me to hold her hand and protect her from the monsters knocking on her door.

Supportive Grandparents

It’s hard to pick any one specific statement or belief that represents my outlook on life. There are so many things that define who I am like my family, my work, and my dreams. My family has always been supportive of me and has never shunned me or shut me out. The most important people in my life are my grandparents who took me in at 14 when my father died and mother went to prison. They are like my parents and have been a huge part of my life since I was born. I couldn’t even imagine where I would be without their love and support. I can’t help but be thankful for everything they have done for me. They have helped pave the path to my future by always encouraging me to move forward and never look back on the bad things, but instead learn from them. I have so much love and respect for them and I strive to make them proud in everything I do.

This I Believe Essays...

I think this I bleieve essays are very interesting. They require remembering one simple believe or theory and running wild with it. You could litterally go anywhere with one simple line and that's why I think it is an amazing writing prompt and it is probably the best way to break the ice especially in blogging, when it's not something you are used to. I can relate to really any this I believe essay essentially. It's really not a case of whether I can relate, but more do I agree? My favorite of the this I believe essays was "Be cool to the Pizza guy" by Sarah Adams. There was a little bit of humor involved, but I love her philosophy. It's not that she's saying to only be kind to the pizza delivery people out there, she's really sayin to learn to be courteous and to be patient even when others aren't the same to you. She's saying to slow down and enjoy life, take it day by day, minute by minute and to stop and smell the roses every once in a while. Whether you choose to be patient with just the pizza guy or to enact this philosophy with everyone it's important to remember that you need to be kind to others and to show some patience and grace every once in a while. Sure we all feel like it's hard not to flip off that guy that cuts you off while driving down the highway, but we must show a little restraint and not let our egos control everything about us. It's important to remember that to someone else we are the pizza dude. Our own acts cause someone else to made the same decision to flip you off or just be patient. Which one will win over?

Audience Analysis

I have learned a lot in the last week about my fellow composition I classmates by having everyone in the class ask questions to others and answer questions about ourselves. I learned that there are quite a few married people in my class, some with children and some without. My question asked about what kind of pets the others in my class have and if they wanted any others and I thought it was super interesting seeing how many people had no pets at all as I was raised around pets. I’ve always had at least a dog and now I have three. There were several more serious questions, such as biggest fear which I really felt let everyone in the class inside of our minds a little more. Most people won’t be honest in a class setting and will just give a generic answer or whatever answer was common in the classroom, but it seems as though everyone in the class was comfortable being totally honest. It’s only hard to be open in public because everyone is always afraid that someone else is judging them and waiting for their response to be a “bad” one. This one question really made everyone open up and I love that. I was really excited that someone thought to ask about our favorite quotes. I’m really not a reader, I’m not at all interested in reading and it’s super hard for me to really get into anything I read whether it’s for pleasure or for assignment, but I do have a favorite quote and I think being able to see everyone’s favorite quote tells you a lot about a person. A person’s favorite quote tells you whether they are more interested in religion, politics, happiness, sadness, whether they are going through a hard time or whether they are doing amazing and their life is right on track. It may seem strange, but I think the favorite quotes question will be the most helpful for me when choosing how to say things to my audience.

Love Has No Gender

I believe love has no gender. I believe our hearts dictate whom we love and that our entire lives we search for "the one" but we are destiny for only one person. I believe that gender is mental and sex is physical. We choose our gender based on who we are and how we feel as a person and no one in the world has the right to deny us of our feelings. People protest the funerals of our military heroes and America says that's ok because it's freedom of speech yet slaps our LGBT community in the face for being honest and true to themselves and loving who they love. Our society is so twisted and discusting. It sickens me just how many people there are in the world who hate a personfor how they see themselves and whom they are destin to love. The LGBT community are they only really true people in the world. They are honest. They are unafraid to show their true selves even though the world hates them, beats them, and thinks they are somehow broken. We should be discusted with our selves for not being that honest and true. Teenage girls who are stick thin call themselves fat and that's "normal" teenage girl stuff, yet the boy who looks in the mirror and sees himself as a girl is wrong for wanting to be true. It's horrible how people are treated it's a direct reflection upon us as human beings to treat others with different beliefs and feelingss with such disrespect. I read the other day about a 16 year old girl in Texas who was kicked off her Softball team and outted to her parents because she was gay. That's horrible! What kind of cruel world are we living in. Teenage girls can have an abortion and that's an invasion of privacy to tell their parents about that yet being gay is a horrible sin and we should treat our LGBT like leppars. This is way beyond my understanding. The biggotry is horrible and I hope one day I can be proud to live in a country where people respect others views and opinions instead of shunning them.





366 words.

This I Believe...

I believe I am a good husband.
I blelieve am an efficient writer.
I believe things aren't always what they seem.
I believe sometimes things are exactly what they seem.
I believe that love should last forever.
I believe love has no gender.
I believe that your heart is only meant to be shared with one person.
I believe that one person should get your whole heart.
I believe that bad things happen to good people and bad people.
I believe I have a faithful wife.
I believe I try to do the right thing most of the time.
I believe I am respected by many.
I believe a few close friends are better than a ton of aqaintances.
I believe that hard times build us into stronger people both physically and emotionally.
I believe that everyone has the right to there own opinion.
I believe our government seeks too much control.
I believe the government has no right to know what weapons I own in my home.
I believe that I have a strange and unpersonable personality.
I believe I don't show enough emotion physically.
I believe I show too much emotion mentally, in my writing.
I believe I give too much of myself and expect too little in return.
I believe the sanctity of marriage is not defined my gender, but by love, true love.
I believe everyone has the right to marry whom they love and not be judged.
I believe religion is too important to America and humanity is suffering.
I believe that my family is the most important thing in the world.
I believe that loss is important in this world.
I believe tragic things are apart of nature and are a mandatory way of life.
I believe too many people blow things way out of proportion.
I believe a lot of people will disagree with me and I really don't care.
I believe nothing is more clear than the scientific facts.
I believe Psychology is NOT a science.
I believe that one day I will become a doctor.
I believe one day that my wife and I will build that house of our dreams.
I believe in true love.

Am I being Unreasonable?

This rage inside me is building and I don't know if it's even for a cause. Maybe I'm over reacting and everything is just missunderstood. Maybe I'm not and everything is way more messed up than I imagined. It feels like right now I'm thinking correctly and now I am reflecting on everything I've done wrong. I have no idea how to fix anything anymore. In my mind everything is crashing down around me and I no longer have anything to hold on to. I thought for once everything was good. That progress was made and maybe it has been made, but this hurts and I'm so angry and I hate having no other release. I wonder if I should even try to clarify this or just fade away and disconnect. Is it worth finding out the truth? Right now a lie is so much better.

Perfectly Unperfect

It's like a swarm of butterflies are fluttering around inside of me. All their tiny little wings just fluttering about tickling my insides making me feel no control over my own body. My mind is complete it feels whole and free there's nothing burdening my mind or holding me back from being happy. There are those who encourage us and those who discourage us. As you stumble through like you really have to be careful who you give yourself to you cannot give yourself to everyone so trying is never going to have a good outcome, but you shouldn't be so guarded that you never give yourself away.

Life is such an amazing journey and the best part of my journey is the person walking beside me. The person you choose to walk beside you must be someone who can stand their ground who can lean on you and allow you to lean on them. Then need toencourage you to keep going even when you're ready to quit. Only a few are lucky enough to find that person who is your sould mate who will walk down that path with you no matter whether you make a wrong turn, go down a dark narrow path, or are traveling sown that bright yellow brick road. Not all the paths are amazing, but the partner makes the walk worth it.

I'm one of the few lucky enough to have found that perfect partner. I don't mean literally perfect we are so perfectly unperfect together my weaknesses are her strengths and her weaknesses are my strengths.

Everything fits perfectly we are sould mates, penguins, but not for those cheesey cliche reasons, hell she's the reason I even believe in any of that cheesey crap anyhow. The things that make me love her more and more each day are the important ones. She encourages me all the time, she pushes me harder than I've ever been pushed, she puts up with me, she has helped me deal with my fears and she's helped me with my communication with others. No one can ever ben her, replace her. She's everything to me and more and more so everyday. She doesn't know it, but she's it and I'm hers. She completes me and holds me to a higher standing, not in a bad way, but a good way she keeps me level and complete.

I just wish she knew everyday just how much she means to me and that I didn't wake up today, or anyday since I've know her, wanting anything more or less than her. This is real love unconditional all the time forever.

 

Jung Typology

I took the Jung Typology Test for my Composition I class which I found interesting because I had taken the test a few weeks ago at work with my co-workers and we all really got a kick out of our results. As far as personality the Jung Test is spot on! Thinking about it in reference to my writing and how it may assist me in writing in college really gets me thinking.

My typology is Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging (ISTJ). This description is definitely me! I am very much an inspector, very punctual (early most of the time), I'm a very by the book, facts are facts person. The question is how will this affect me as a writer and the answer is a tough one to come by. I think that one's personality affects their writing just as much as it affects their spoken communication. In my opinion written communication is a more honest and open form of communication. In writing one can express their real feelings and emotions. The can be honest in the purest and simpliest form. Most are more likely to cuss someone out or be extremely prejudice and judgemental in their writing than face to face.

I think this test won't necessarily help me with my writing, but make me aware of brutally honest personality type so that I can be cautious when writing so as not to hurt anyone's feelings or discredit another person. I believe the test only affects my editing and observation of myself rather than any other aspect of my writing. If I need to write about something factual then this typology will more than likely make my writing stronger, because I won't be afraid to disagree or state the facts.